Rae's say of the day
Spring please!!!!

It feels like forever since I was able to be on my computer bullshitting. It’s sort of sad how much I love jumping on my computer to look up stuff. I missed self diagnosing my problems and illnesses, trying to look up ways to get rid of cellulite, wasting time on pinterest, planning a vacation or mini trips, printing pictures whenever I wanted to, etc.

Anyways, my life is pretty much the same. I just finished eating a piece of heath bar cheesecake. It’s been frozen in the freezer since my Birthday. Today is my half Birthday. That’s not why I ate the cheesecake though. I ate it because I have raging periodness right now. It’s that during your period where it’s really heavy, you have nagging cramps, your sweet tooth cravings are uncontrollable and you might kill someone. I actually thought I was going to pass out in the store because I felt sooo shitty and lightheaded.

So really a lot has happened since I last posted. Well the big events are that my sister, aunt and dan’s sister got engaged.

Emily, I’m really excited for her wedding. It’s going to be this like 3 days affair. There will be a small ceremony on Lake George and we’re all staying at the Sagamore. (love that place now), the next day will be a day on the lake for all of us, then the next day is all the extended family going to the track for the day and then going to the Mabee farm for a casual celebration for Em and Conor. I so can’t wait! I have so many dresses to buy this season.

Aunt Chris, excited for her! She went throught so much after losing John. Andy is very different than my uncle was, but Chris is the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time. She also gains a whole family because he has four kids and 1 grandchild. I gain four first cousins I guess. They may be doing a Fall wedding. I get the vibe that my mom isn’t totally enthused by them getting married, which I find annoying. I feel like at some point if she doesn’t start being more supportive of her sister I’m going to snap at her!

Erin, I’m excited for her and Joel. It seems like there relationship has come a long way and they have the kids together and it will be good for them all to settle down as a family. I almost forgot how long they’d been together. Erin asked me the other day to be a bridesmaid. Should be fun to help her plan the wedding stuff out and plan a bridal/bachelorette party. I think they are doing something at Joel’s dads for the wedding itself in August.

Work has been super frustrating. I feel like I don’t get a lot of support from the upper management in my company. The one cook left. We had one week without him, last week, and that was one of the most tiring weeks I can remember! We got one new guy in, only to have to fire him two days later because he had a really bad attitude at work. We finally have a new person who I think will work. It finally hit me today that things may begin to settle down soon. I hope it will all work out and I can plan my vacation soon. I have a week requested, but I haven’t planned anything since I didn’t know if I would have someone reliable to cover it. Dan and I are talking about going to LBI for a few days and staying at this hotel right on the beach that has a tiki bar and pool. We also talked about Florida and Harry Potter Theme Park and Disney, but LBI would probably be a lot cheaper.

I cannot wait at this point for it to get warm! I like winter, but at this point it’s just too much. I want to get out and walk. I’m sick of being inside! I want to go camping and go outside on warm days and have a drink. I want to not have to wear my winter coat and gloves everywhere still.

This past weekend Dan and I went to Boston and we stayed with my aunt and uncle. I’m so glad we went! I hadn’t visited them since 2007. It was nice catching up. My aunt is really into cheesemaking, so she took us to her favorite cheeseshop and this great winter market. We went to the Gardner Musuem, which was this awesome art collection in this amazing old building that made you feel like you were in Europe. It was beautiful and it’s definitely a place I would really like to go back to. My aunt and uncle stayed in on Saturday and Dan and I were on our own. We ended up just hanging out in this one cool bar the whole night. We also went to the FMA art museum and that was really amazing too. They had all this ancient Egyptian artwork and you could spend an entire week in that place. It’s good getting away!! The weekend after this one Melissa and I are going to Brooklyn to visit! Should be fun!

Our apartment is a mess. Most people wouldn’t say it’s that messy, but it is and I don’t feel like cleaning! Grr I just want winter to be done. It’s putting me into such a slump!

Marzipan

I just ate some chocolate covered marzipan from my Christmas chocolate stash. I always got to have a stash of chocolate. Always. It was very satisfying.

I started watching Gossip Girl on netflix while I use the bike. I’m hooked on the show and feel really dorky…well dorky might be the right word for being hooked on gossip girls. I have to make up for the fact that I finished Downton Abbey Season 4 in a week! Walking Dead starts up on Sunday, then Game of Thrones will follow. Happy Dance!!

It’s Friday. I love Thursday, Friday and Saturday and it’s love/hate thing with Sunday.

I’m so excited for next weekend! Dan and I are going to the Sagamore for the night, for Valentine’s Day. We did the package, which includes dinner, breakfast and a $100 spa credit. I think I’m gonna get a massage the following morning. I’m so damn excited to go. It’s also the Winter Carnival at Lake George, so we might check that out.

My computer has been flaky again lately. I was convinced when I got it fixed that it was fixed for good, but it seems to be acting up again. :(

I always come up with fun artsy, creative things I want to work on and then once I get working I always figure Ill do it on the weekend. It never seems to happen though. I should make it happen, maybe tonight!

Oh hey!

I’ve been bullshitting on this computer since I woke up. I did not sleep well. It could probably be because I got really sick last night. Dan was away for a few days in Washington for his uncle’s retirement and as soon as he walks in the door I’m crouched by the toilet throwing up. Diarrhea and throw-up…sorry. It was bad, must have been something from that restaurant last night. So I’m guessing that’s why I didn’t sleep well, my body feels angry and dehydrated.

I’m baking a spice cake for my dad’s Birthday party later. It smells so damn delicious! It will be fun to have a family occasion with so many people from both sides of the family there later.

It’s weird that it’s 2014. So many times I find myself being like oh that was 10 years ago this happened and 2009 was five years ago. Life is happening so fast lately!

I’m so happy this past work week is over. It was busy as shit! Waking up at 3:30am sucks and then working 12 hours beyond that is annoying too!

I have had hardcore cabin fever lately. I just want to curl up on the couch with movies or shows and not go anywheres!

My back hurts, upper back. I figured the weekend would help it go away.

Dan and I are going to see American Hustle! I’m really excited lol. I’m a dork

We are having din din at my parents later. Hungarian Goulash, one of my all time favorites. I saw my parents recently, but sometimes I miss them and home so I’m looking forward to going.

I think Dan and I will watch the Grammys later. Next week will be superbowl Sunday. I said we should wicked lazy bums and make a kickass nacho platter, make frozen mixed drinks and lay around in our pajamas watching!

Last night I hungout with Natasha and some of her friends. It was pretty fun, we played this confusing board game that was a cross between Magic and D&D. I thought I would definitely get it, but I more got bored of it because I just didn’t have the energy for something I needed to be with it for.

I’ve been tired constantly lately!

I don’t get it..Last night I had two beers, one shot and two mixed drinks. May seem like a lot to some people, but it wasn’t too much. I was having a fun time, until my stomach hurt so bad. I couldn’t stop throwing up. Between that and my New Years night, I feel like my body is telling me to not really drink alcohol much anymore. I feel a little freaked out that while I kept puking last night, my stomach just continued to keep hurting and was still of at first this morning. I feel like I have less of a hangover because I got the alcohol out of my system. I’ve never been a puker when it comes to drinking, so why now. Whatever, I’m overthinking it, but it was frustrating because I was having a blast and then that happened and the whole night was cut short. Bailey and I came back here and watched Now and Then, that was a fun throw back. The night was still fun.

I think it’s high time Daniel gets up! I’m hungry!

Winter blues..

Meh I just feel so blah lately. I don’t know irritable, annoyed and antsy. Work has been getting on my nerves and because I spend 10-11 hours at work a day, it tends to amplify any annoyances even more and then I can’t just chill out about them at night. The one kid at work is just so effing bizarre, to the point where I seriously think he’s mentally ill. He tells us these crazy beliefs of his and basically told me, me having allergies is a mind over matter thing. Medicine and shots to help that, is just a gov’t ploy to get money and make us stupid. He acts like he’s better than my other co-worker and I and acts like he works so hard even though I run circles around him…..literally. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but I can’t help but just be annoyed by his complete ignorance and his sense entitlement to certain things in life.

I also feel like there’s something else with work that will put a lot of stress and pressure over me in the next 6 months, leading up to the signing of the next contract. This all sort of leads me lately to feeling kind crappy. Sometimes I just wonder if I’ve made a mistake picking this career. Sometimes I always wonder what if I’d just stuck with fashion and gone in that direction or what if I’d done something in the direction of art. I guess I find myself frustrated because the other day it occurred to me that the whole thing driving me into this culinary career was baking and opening a bakery. I realized that lately I don’t even have that excited feeling anymore of owning a bakery. I do, but it’s this clouded headache of an idea right now. It’s like as if I got pregnant and realized I’ll never be able to go out and have fun anymore. That’s sort of what I feel like work has felt like for me lately. Maybe it’s just the winter, I always get so down during the winter. I just feel so frustrated lately and that at night and sometimes on the weekends I can’t just unwind and put my work out of my mind.

I just want a break. I want like two weeks off to do what I want to do and bring myself back to the more relaxed me. I feel like I need to go out and do something really fun and I’m due to go away for a weekend somewheres. Usually a whole different setting helps bring me back and reminds me that there is a whole huge world out there and it’s not just me and my silly world.

I saw this on someone’s facebook. I liked this because I’ve always felt the better when reading a book. I’ve always felt that reading and exercising in my free time are the two things that keep my mind off anything bothering me or worrying me..or whatever my silly girl mind dwells on. I always like how they say how books can change your life. I feel like in weird ways there are several books that have changed certain aspects of my life whether it was the way I did things or they way I viewed things.

I’m hungry and I’m frozen.

I hit a garbage can today. It ripped part of my mirror off.

I keep posting more than normal. I kind of like that though!

Punching bag?

Grrr I’m so annoyed. I just got home from because I was waiting all day for a truck delivery that just never ended up showing up! I hate when they lie to you too and say it’ll be there in a half an hour. So annoyed!!!!!!

Then the old lady upstairs is loud and yelling at the little girls. Next thing there will be music blaring while I try to relax!

Today just wasn’t my fucking day.

I feel behind with getting shit done!! WTF!

Upstate NY White Girl Problems and January Birthday month.

WTF am I thinking! I just bought a fit bit in the month that will definitely be the most expensive of the year for me! Heat and electric was through the roof last month and here I am buying a $100 device that tracks how much you walk and your sleeping habits.

Got my aunt’s Birthday today. I have no idea what to get here, I feel she never needs anything!!

Yesterday I hungout with Bailey a lot. Her and Aaron broke up. Her Birthday and Dan’s Birthday are coming up. I think I have a Birthday party every weekend for the rest of the month!! My dad is at the end of the month.

We were teaching my sister to play Magic the other night. I always want to get back into Magic. I want to make awesome decks, but it’s really intimidating because we have sooooooo many cards. I don’t know where to begin.

Ugh I hate winter on my allergies because it’s soooooooooo fucking dry!!

I haven’t had almost any desire to drink. I had a glass of wine last night at dinner, but was thinking how much alcohol kind of makes you feel like crap at times unless you drink a lot and then feel really happy for like 5 hours and then feel like shit for the next 24. I just noticed it always gives me a headache or makes me tired. I know I’ll drink in the future, but I really feel like I have no desire to right now.

Ugh I’m in a bad funk right now. I had a very weird dream and I was not feeling great when I went to bed. I’m just annoyed about like 3 different things at the moment. The stupid people upstairs are way too fucking loud! I’m just grr, feel like I want to go off for a drive someplace quiet!